When the singer Sam Smith announced on Instagram that their pronouns were they, them—which got more than half a million likes in less than a day—the Oscar and Grammy winner acknowledged “there will be many mistakes and mis gendering but all I ask is you please please try.”
Smith was correct that there would be some misgendering. In reporting the story, CNN, the BBC, and the Guardian all referred to Smith as “they,” but over the course of a 5-sentence story the Associated Press called Smith “he” and “his” seven times.
That tone-deaf gaffe was met by a tweet barrage, and in response the AP did finally honor Smith’s request to “please please try” by correcting the story, sort of:
Accompanying the rewrite was this explanation: “This story has been corrected throughout to reflect Sam Smith’s pronouns.” But instead of replacing he, his with they, their, which would correctly reflect Smith’s pronouns, the AP went out of its way to rewrite the story to avoid using any pronoun at all—they/them appears only in a direct quote from Smith: “I’m changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM.”
Two years ago, in a nod to the growing acceptance of singular they for indefinites—Everyone forgot their password—and for nonbinary people—Sam Smith declared their pronouns on Instagram—the Associated Press Stylebook came out with this advice:
In stories about people who identify as neither male nor female or ask not to be referred to as he/she/him/her: Use the person’s name in place of a pronoun, or otherwise reword the sentence, whenever possible. If they/them/their use is essential, explain in the text that the person prefers a gender-neutral pronoun. Be sure that the phrasing does not imply more than one person.
In reporting the Sam Smith pronoun story, the AP initially forgot to consult its own Stylebook. In the rewrite, AP followed the Stylebook blindly, using Smith’s name in place of a pronoun and rewording to avoid they, them. And they explained, not in the text but in the correction notice, that the person “prefers” a gender-neutral pronoun—though people are starting to think of pronouns not as a preference but as the essence of who they are.
The AP rewrite drops the masculine pronoun—good so far—but avoiding singular they in a story about singular they seems to carry tone-deafness to a new level.
Singular they has been common in careful English speech and writing since the fourteenth century. Even though purists condemned it in the 1800s, as long ago as 1885 the linguist Fred Newton Scott observed,
“The word they is being used as a pronoun of the common gender every day by millions of persons who are not particular about their language, and every other day by several thousands who are particular.”
Critics of singular they use it when they’re not paying attention—plus even those who resist singular they for indefinites like someone or anyone, or for generics like the writer or the editor, recommend honoring a person’s pronoun declaration.
And, sorry if you count yourself a purist, but arguments against singular they are not convincing. It's not an innovation--they has been both singular and plural since pretty much forever.
On top of that, anyone who insists that a pronoun can’t be both singular and plural should know that the second-person pronoun you was almost exclusively plural until the seventeenth century, when it began doubling as the standard singular as well. Singular they is older than singular you, and nobody yearns to go back to the days of thou, thee, thy, and thine.
And anyone who fears that singular they may be ambiguous, as the AP seems to do, should remember that you is also ambiguous: context doesn’t always make clear whether you refers to one or more than one. Speakers and writers develop effective ways of dealing with this ambiguity—everything from the clearly plural you guys, you’uns, you lot, y’all and the even-more-clearly-plural all y’all, to outright asking, are you talking to me, or to all of us?
Sam Smith was clearly talking to all of us, asking us to respect their pronoun. The AP tried. Maybe next time they’ll do better.
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For the whole story on gender-neutral and nonbinary pronouns, click to order your copy of my new book, What’s Your Pronoun? Beyond ‘he’ and ‘she.’
